Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Randomize
