kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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