So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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