Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
