last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
