THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
