Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
