Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
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It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize