Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
