I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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