Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...

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  (917): All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus... http://tfl.nu/bdby
  Replies (8) Good night (940) Bad night (1339) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.

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  (678): His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum. http://tfl.nu/czce
  Replies (35) Good night (812) Bad night (6492) Order T-Shirt
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked

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  (770): I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked http://tfl.nu/iw27
  Replies (33) Good night (7437) Bad night (880) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.

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  (703): just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking. http://tfl.nu/uhxv
  Replies (15) Good night (1490) Bad night (5037) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?

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  (440): Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college? http://tfl.nu/er5p
  Replies (19) Good night (3972) Bad night (931) Order T-Shirt
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  (679): View more from Michigan

  You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.

  (679): View more from Michigan

  You really are best friends.

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  (679): You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road. (679): You really are best friends. http://tfl.nu/zi1s
  Replies (20) Good night (6391) Bad night (1026)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.

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  (816): At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug. http://tfl.nu/yhlg
  Replies (7) Good night (4813) Bad night (871) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums

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  (732): apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums http://tfl.nu/96xk
  Replies (12) Good night (956) Bad night (1774) Order T-Shirt
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  ??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.

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  (306): ??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas. http://tfl.nu/j6o2
  Replies (8) Good night (2904) Bad night (472) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.

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  (603): His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice. http://tfl.nu/yv8x
  Replies (1) Good night (1004) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.

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  (510): Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism. http://tfl.nu/z92b
  Replies (13) Good night (1705) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.

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  (561): The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED. http://tfl.nu/purq
  Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her

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  (312): This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her http://tfl.nu/f7pk
  Replies (4) Good night (631) Bad night (460) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.

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  (330): Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me. http://tfl.nu/bro7
  Replies (9) Good night (939) Bad night (245) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.

  (1-905): View more from Ontario

  Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.

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  (905): I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th. (1-905): Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms. http://tfl.nu/74vi
  Replies (5) Good night (343) Bad night (243)

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