No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed