Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize