Just cropdusted the office
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Still dying that you shit outside
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
