Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
