my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize