I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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