i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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