im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I need a burrito and a hug.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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