It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
