sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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