i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize