No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
