Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
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No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
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my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie