Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.