Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.