Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
