I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
