I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
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He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
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It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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