I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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