what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Is Oprah even human
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
