I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.