Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight

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  (847): I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight http://tfl.nu/h3vp
  Replies (10) Good night (3983) Bad night (1065)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...

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  (601): your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible... http://tfl.nu/v1vf
  Replies (33) Good night (7168) Bad night (1262)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.

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  (715): Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina. http://tfl.nu/6q39
  Replies (290) Good night (4277) Bad night (2857)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?

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  (813): So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell? http://tfl.nu/9wrt
  Replies (37) Good night (6597) Bad night (1987)
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  (631): View more from New York

  ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night

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  (631): ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night http://tfl.nu/n1l5
  Replies (9) Good night (5120) Bad night (979)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?

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  (561): Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose? http://tfl.nu/uaga
  Replies (10) Good night (646) Bad night (963)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today

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  (843): I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today http://tfl.nu/bbq7
  Replies (12) Good night (3014) Bad night (601)
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  (209): View more from California

  Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.

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  (209): Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER. http://tfl.nu/edtf
  Replies (11) Good night (1025) Bad night (1067)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.

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  (701): She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down. http://tfl.nu/f22r
  Replies (18) Good night (809) Bad night (1443)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!

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  (425): I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze! http://tfl.nu/6miw
  Replies (4) Good night (1103) Bad night (373)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.

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  (814): I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless. http://tfl.nu/288b
  Replies (1) Good night (426) Bad night (475)
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  (510): View more from California

  Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"

  (510): View more from California

  How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??

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  (510): Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion" (510): How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done?? http://tfl.nu/izmz
  Replies (5) Good night (722) Bad night (361)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.

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  (215): i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass. http://tfl.nu/9tw7
  Replies (7) Good night (737) Bad night (361)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!

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  (306): had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function! http://tfl.nu/xw78
  Replies (1) Good night (393) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….

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  (303): You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas…. http://tfl.nu/ehgv
  Replies (0) Good night (627) Bad night (379)

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