Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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