lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
