Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
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Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize