Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
