After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize