you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
