Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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