He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
FUCK WHALES
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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