what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
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