respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
