So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
