Banned from zoo.
Again?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
