Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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