my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
