the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
