I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
