he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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