I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He passed out mid-signature
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
