And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's shark week go big or go home
Randomize
