I'm gonna have a badass scar
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
