youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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