So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
