I have demons in me.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
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