Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
