I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I came so hard my ears popped.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
