He had one of those small greek statue penises
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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