We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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