BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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