day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
