i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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